A sissy gurls perspective

My wife..... That feels soo wrong, I should say my Mistress in all honesty. Miss Kate has not been my wife for at least the last 3ish years.

So let me start again, Mistress Kate, has suggested I might write a post on her blog and give you all a little insight to my feelings and my life and world as a sissy gurl.

I was lucky enough to marry Miss Kate and as you all know I am her sissy maid. We do not sleep together. My room in Miss Kate's home, is the spare room. She often has male and female guests, who stay over night.

Over the last couple of years Miss Kate has included me in her love making, I am not allowed to penetrate her, my sissy clit is used only to rub her clit. Much to my shame and also delight, when fully erect I am only 4 inches. I don't know about you gurls out there reading this, but I feel sissy gurls sissy clits should be small. She has instructed me to please her male and female guests and I have been taken by both the male and the female guests. Mistress enjoys pegging me and I must admit to finding it extremely pleasurable.

I do have a question for other sissy gurls, when I am being pegged, (male or female) I cannot get hard, not that I can get very hard anyway but my sissy clit is always soft, not matter how stimulated. Have any of you gurls experienced this sensation?

Miss Kate has suggested several topics to cover. She has instructed me to tell you all how I feel about these topics and what my reaction would be in these situations:

Seeing an attractive women on the street:
I know this sounds sooo odd, but somehow I feel like a bi women. When I meet an attractive women, I admire how they dress, how attractive they are, how they move and lust after what they are and wish it was me. I wish they saw me as I see them.

Do you masturbate like a man:
I try soooo hard to emulate a real women, I hate masturbating like a man, well not a man a sissy. I try to pee like a girl, move like a girl and I have watched this .gif for hours trying to emulate everything she is doing. From her gasps to the way she moves, every little detail.

What do you love about female relationships:
I looooove the gossip the bitchiness, I sooo want to be the bitch, who then gets taking to task. I have no idea why but I love the drama. 

If you were a real women, what would be your perfect experience
Wow sooo hard to think but if I am honest I would love to be a PA / secretary of a powerful women and she would spank me for my mistakes, dress me and use me. I would be her pet totally. Blushing...

As a sissy what have you done that you have felt the most ashamed of
Blushing...several months ago I begged and pleaded Miss Kate to fuck me with her double sided dildo, her male friend watched and told me to wiggle my ass like a bitch on heat. Blushing. I did as I was told. Miss Kate then pushed the dildo into my mouth and her male lover entered me and I purred like a true bitch on heat. 

Seeing your wife suck a huge cock:
At first I felt awful, I felt sick, I felt ashamed and then Miss Kate starts to moan and I understand she is experiencing something I can never give her. Without noticing it I am bitting my lower lip and purring, I start to rub my thighs together to stimulate my little sissy clit. I am sooo blushing right now just thinking about it all.

When you see an image / .gif like this how do you feel:
Envious, I sooo want to be them, then my envy drifts away and I imagine wearing their lingerie and then I look at their bodies, hairstyles, walk and features and decide that I would prefer to be the blonde.