Real female sexual fantasy themes
Men and women create dream worlds where they live out fantasies and explore taboo subjects. Sexual fantasies are an intimate world where mind, body, and emotion come together in an explosion of desires and fears. Fantasies can tap into the unconscious and express deep-seated desires or conflicts.
But our most intimate secrets are not the only that contributes to our mental porn. How a woman was raised to think about herself as a woman, her relationships with the people around her, and her early sexual experiences also shape her sexual fantasy life.
The below is an outline of research from Maltz, which I found on another blog and felt that sissy gurls should try to have a real female fantasy somewhere in their pretty little sissy gurl heads
Scripted fantasies are narrative, sometimes linear, and are all about the storyline. Maltz believes that women’s sexual fantasies are often plot-driven, and she identifies 6 common themes:
Pretty Maiden
Victim
Wild Woman
Dominatrix
Beloved
Voyeur
Pretty Maiden
Coming straight out of a Harlequin romance — the Pretty Maiden is the most stereotypical of female fantasies. She is the beautiful (but passive) object of male desire and is swept away by her lover’s passion. The setting is crucial in these kinds of fantasies, and they are often remote in time and place. This fantasy may be tamer than many of the ones that follow — but the Pretty Maiden still gets the job done — in her own pretty way.
The Victim
While the Pretty Maiden thrives on the role of pillow princess during sex, the Victim fantasy takes this to the dark side and back. This fantasy is all about domination, abuse, and humiliation. It’s about control, not desire. Interestingly, research shows that women have more rape and BDSM themes fantasies than men.
Nita has a Victim fantasy. Women with a sexual abuse history, or like Nita, some form of sexual trauma often cast themselves as the Victim in their mental porn. Research on women’s rape fantasies has also confirmed this tendency. In one study, women with aversive rape fantasies were often sexual abuse victims. The researchers thought that these women used their reveries to process their trauma and gain some sense of control back.
However, the women in Maltz’s study often reported feeling uncomfortable and conflicted about Victim fantasies. They left a bad taste in the mouth, even if they created intense sexual pleasure. As one woman who fantasied about rape told Maltz:
“I don’t understand why I would replay such a horrible event over and over. I do enjoy the climax, but afterward I cry, probably because I feel so guilty achieving orgasm this way.”
This brings up an interesting point in female psychology: the distinction between sexual wishes and sexual fantasies. A “wish” is on your bucket list. It is something that you want to act out in bed, while a “fantasy” isn’t always something you want to do. In general, women are far less likely than men to want to act out their spank bank.
The Wild Woman
The Wild Woman doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you or your social norms. This is the fantasy of sheet-grabbing sexual fulfillment. The Wild Woman’s OWN. If you’ve ever dreamed of banging a football team in the middle of the playing field (after having been orally gratified by all the players), this one’s for you.
“In this fantasy, I’m very bold in getting what I want. I tell the hunk exactly how to please me. After I’ve climaxed with him, I take on all the other men, one after another.” — Erika, Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women’s Sexual Fantasies
The Wild Woman is interested in pleasure, pure and simple. Multiple partners, same-sex couplings, and taboo acts are typical. In this fantasy, women often see themselves as temptresses or even prostitutes. There is usually no interest in control or humiliation. Girls just want to have fun with this one.
The Dominatrix
The Dominatrix turns the Victim fantasy on its head. Now, it’s somebody else’s job to suffer. She wants absolute control, and she wields a mean whip. Like the Wild Woman, the Dominatrix “runs the fuck” in the immortal words of Betty Dodson. And she aims to be pleased. Gentlemen/gentlewomen bow your heads and pray. This is the true NASTY WOMAN.
The Beloved
The beloved seeks union with a soulmate — intimacy and connection — not some ass-grabbing good time (though that can happen too). Romeo and Juliet, Heathcliff and Catherine, Scarlett and Rhett, you get the picture…
While some women jill off on fiction, for others, the Beloved fantasy is a replay of a steamy encounter with a real-life beau. Women imagine the first time they made love with their current or previous partner, or they see themselves and their beloved at a younger age. The relationship dynamics are usually based on equality and devotion. This fantasy blends both the carnal and the sacred into a magical concoction of passion and intimacy.
The Voyeur
You like to watch, don’t you?
With your hands down your pants, no doubt. The Voyeur observes the action from a safe emotional distance but doesn’t feel the need to jump in. Voyeur fantasies often contain themes from the other categories and can be like a fantasy-within-a-fantasy.
For example, from behind the curtains, the Voyeur watches the Wild Woman get her rocks off. For many women, the Voyeur fantasy derives its erotic juice from the possibility of being discovered and/or the taboo nature of observing someone without their knowledge — or consent. Maltz found that some women with this type of fantasy had been exposed to porn at a young age.
To Identify Your Theme — Here Are a Few Questions
Am I the doer, or do I get done?
Do I initiate, or does someone else?
Does one person call the shots?
Do I resent what’s going on in my fantasy, or am I happy horndog?
Is the sexual energy sweet and tender or nasty and rough?
Am I a fly on the wall or part of the action?
I’m definitely getting done!
ReplyDeleteSometime else takes charge and initiates.
I have a tendency to top from the bottom but secretly want the other person (butch woman ideally) calling the shots.
I’m a happy horn bitch ;)
I kinda like both - nasty and rough, then sweet and tender, like a roller coaster.
Oh I’m definitely part of the action.
Who am I Miss Kate?
This post is such a gift to read, and should be required material for both men and aspiring sissies. Female sexuality is so often misunderstood - from men who don't pay it proper attention, to sissies who often fetishize it in ridiculous and sometimes misogynistic ways.
ReplyDeleteOf course some of these are more intuitive to the sissy mind than others - sissies often imaging themselves as the passive subject of other's desires (ironically, the kind of sexual desire that is taboo as a man). But as a sissy trying to understand femininity more deeply, it is fascinating to read each of these and try to understand their social and psychological roots. As you write, Ms. Kate: "how a woman was raised to think about herself as a woman, her relationships with the people around her, and her early sexual experiences also shape her sexual fantasy life." Put another way, reading and learning about each of these fantasies is also a way to learn about the way women are taught to see themselves, how she sees herself in relation to others, and how she experiences sex.
For example, I wouldn't have imagined the voyeur as a sexual fantasy of women, but in reading the research it is clear how this reveals the sense of danger and risk involved in sexual encounters for women - a kind of risk most men and even sissies don't properly understand. As Ms Kate writes, "the Voyeur observes the action from a safe emotional distance". It also reflects the idea of sex itself as a taboo for women, in which women don't always feel free to express themselves as sexual being and instead need to project the experience of sex onto an external source to create sufficient distantiation.
I'll take this as a task for myself to spend some time imagining each fantasy and trying to find a connection to the erotic, feminine experience in them. While as with real women, not all will ultimately be equally resonate, I believe it is a good assignment for sissies to try to understand the full range as they develop a deeper understanding of femininity. Thank you for sharing Ms. Kate.