UPDATED The missing component to sissy gurls sexuality

So many gurls have written to me to ask about my early sexual experiences, I feel this is an important component of womanhood. How can you know what you like and dislike without exploring yourself. Sissy gurls are thrown into their feminity half formed, they have not had the highs and lows of growing up as a woman and discovering oneself.

 

Women learn from other women, that social interaction and explorations is key to understanding sexual politics. It is where woman can share their mistakes and learn to laugh and perhaps even heal a little.

Every woman has made mistakes, every girlfriend, myself including has the handfull of guys and girls we wish we had not met and slept with. We all have our secrets, our ghosts, those memories that catch us unaware and remind us of those mistakes. 

I wanted to share one of those expereinces to perhaps give sissy gurls something they can build on for their own female personas. As I write this I am shivering, not becuase I am cold but I am unlocking some pretty deep feelings. 

I was 18, I thought I was a wordly wise woman, going about her life when I was hit by cupids arrow! I fell madly in love for the first time, he was handsome, tall and very well endowned (blushing). I was convinced he was the one he was 19 going on 20 and that made me look up to him so much. I thought he knew it all and I became his little pet project. The feelings were so intense and so real. 

One night we were in bed and I was giving him a blow job, I was sooo turned on he was in charge and was very clearly dominating me, his forcefulness was sooo erotic and I just submitted to him. I would find myself being manipulated and when I managed to build up the courage to say something he would tell me I was being too sensative, over dramatic and was unaware of the dynamics of adult relationships. He would tell me to calm down (which would send me into floods of tears) he would then tell me I am 'on' and that is why I am behaving like a spoilt brat. 

He had a special knack of making me feel small, convincing me I had hurt him and that I needed to make it up to him. I wish I could go back in time and tell that 18 year old girl not to allow him to use me. I knew I was unhappy but I put that down to our fiery love the highs were soooo high and sooo intense. 

I knew something was wrong that night I could sense it, he was very drunk and was angry - I should have seen it coming, but I was a silly girl who was in love and had invested time, my pride and had allowed him to humiliate me all in the name of love. 

We were at his parents place it was late and we were by the pool we were chatting and I was trying to calm him down as he described the situation with some one at his work. I was in my bikini and rubbing his lap to calm him down. He kept on drinking and talking I was awful at holding my drink, I got drunk very quickly. Without a word he grabbed a handful of my hair and unbuttoned his jeans, I knew what was coming and knew he would get angry if I declined. I was scared, turned on and ashamed for being excited and scared, my mind was swiming and suddenly my head was being pushed down, he fed his cock into my mouth, it was the first time I had deep throuated anyone he was rough and slapped me across the face saying to watch my teeth, it went in so far that I choked and my eyes started to water. 

I recall gripping the tops of his thighs trying to balance myself my bikini offered no defence I felt exposed, I froze at first, totally taken by surprise at his aggression, he kept his hand in my hair pushing and pulling my head, I could not stop him as he bobbed my head up and down. He grunted and then came it was thick and plentyfull and I was not given an option to spit - he held my head and shot his semen straight to the back of my throat, he relaxed a little and I manged to sit up my bikini top was off and I remeber thinking when did that happen as I watched it float in the pool. I choked on the warm gooey substance and coughed as I swallowed as a reflex shuddering as the tast slid down my throat, once down I started to speak and realised I had cum on my lips and chin. I wiped my face with the back of my hand then felt a warm rain as I turned to look up he had stood up and was pissing on me.

When he finished he laughed and told me to clean up and make him a sandwhich. 

Sissy gurls need to have a deeper and more rounded understanding of being a woman. Fill in the poll and see understand the gurl inside a little better 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd_Kr0-VP94-Ryyg3zT3u_iS2fDNaLIoz6sWVVbLYlrmnivgA/viewform?usp=sf_link

 

UPDATED

 

 

1. The gurls have spoken and the results are in:

2. The number 1 sissy gurl name is - Steph or Stephanie

3. In joint 2nd place is Olivia and Katie

4. The age range most selected is 18-25

5. The gurls overwhelmingly voted for blonde hair 

6. Which is styled sleek and straight 

7. Fair skin just beat tanned skin with 51% of the vote

8. Almost 50% voted for UK size 8 

9. With 36" C cup breasts 

10. The height vote was split with 5foot 6 inches coming out on top

11. You voted to keep our gurl interested in men and women 

12. Almost everyone voted that our gurl did not have children 

13. However our gurl is married to a man 

14. Over 35% voted to give our gurl a girly and bubbly persona 

15. You all voted, well almost all of you voted that our gurls sexual history puts her in the slut category

    Lingerie style is modern girly

    Dress style is girly

    The group your gurl would hang out with is college girlfriends
    

16. The top 5 female expereinces you all votes for: 

    1. Strutting in heels 

    2. Having a BFF

    3. Girl chat 

    4. Suck a huge cock

    5. Take part in a one night stand